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I don't read any statistical analyses. The game isn't played on paper.

I don't check Twitter unless I'm in a particularly boring meeting as I was this morning. The spirit of Murray Chass inhabited the body of some random person who claims to be an actual sportswriter who posted these choice bits to me:

1. [You] can't quantify everything w/ numbers. I try to stay away from numbers in baseball too. Numbers measure trends, but they don't dictate the future b/c of anomalies. I don't read any statistical analyses. The game isn't played on paper. Stats don't win you games, play does. Stats play no part in the playing/result of the game. They are important when negotiating contracts. Not to winning championships.

2. Once each individual game starts, the game before it doesn't matter. Won't win a series on stats/predictions. Only the results matter. Even if the prediction is right, it doesn't mean anything. Can you honestly tell me that once a game starts, you still think a prediction has an impact?

3. Conventional wisdom in sports is to follow the stats, so how did YOU get so invested? It is more conventional now to do a statistically analysis than just about anything else.

4. And before you think I just can't so math and therefore don't like it, I have a math mind, placed out in college.

It's like somebody found a sportswriting cliche generator. I'm scratching my head trying to even parse some of that - how can you follow sports and not like predicting outcomes prior to the games? Are we really restricted to discussing only what happened and not debating its larger implications?

I thought this clip from Mean Girls was on point:

Karen: Well... I'm kinda psychic. I have a fifth sense.
Cady: What do you mean?
Karen: It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.
Cady: Really? That's amazing.
Karen: Well... they can tell when it's raining.

I'm not sure when sports analysis became conventional wisdom. It certainly doesn't come up at contract negotiation time - I'm looking at you, Washington Nationals - and it doesn't even come up during the season -Dallas Stars epic collapse, anyone? Things like sampling uncertainty and true talent are hardly accepted concepts in sports.

At any rate, the first bolded "point" is by far the most ridiculous. Stats play no part in the result of the game, but the true talent measured by them sure does. Fucking sports, how do they work?