Memo Rojas, you are in the wrong sport. But you are still a winner.
I'm a bit excited to fill the first part of the NHL's Most Interesting Name Finals Bracket, particularly because the 1920s and 1930s were so jam-packed with old-timey names, weirdness, and innuendo (have a look for yourself in Parts I, II, and III). Unfortunately, "nine name enter, one name leave," so we've got to whittle these gems down to a single winner. Stick around after the jump to cast your vote - if you haven't seen these names yet, you're getting the best the 1920s and 30s can offer. Our nine contestants...
...after reiterating the goal of the tournament: "...hockey history is chock full of names that can pique a person's interest, whether it's because it's unintentionally funny to the English sensibility (Petr Pohl), almost regal (Normand Rochefort), or lends itself to entertaining wordplay (Darius Kasparaitis). The criteria for our 'most interesting names' is a bit loose, in that the name can strike you as any one of the above descriptors, or all of them, but ultimately you are going to vote on the name that 'strikes' you the strongest."
- Odie Cleghorn - Though I've heard at least one call for his brother Sprague, I still think the nomer "Odie" gets the edge. The smoothest voice in the world couldn't make this name sound nice.
- Red Green - I think this guy truly tugs at Canadian heartstrings, with his comical, bearded namesake doing most of the endearing.
- Punch Broadbent - This name would knock out Rocky Marciano in the 1st round with a left jab.
- Baldy Cotton - The creepy, carny-like nature of Baldy Cotton is hard to mute.
- Hib Milks - I have looked at this name thirty times, and I still don't know WTF is going on there.
- Obs Heximer - He's like if you made a smoothie out of every movie villain and added some moonshine.
- Rennison Manners - Kind of a dark horse, he sounds like he played in a powdered wig.
- Dit Clapper - I've said it once, I'll say it again, he's one step away from a lot of dirty names. In fact, if you'd said his name fast as a kid your mom would wash your mouth out with soap.
- Fido Purpur - There's just so many great things going on here...
After we settle the score here, we get to hitch a ride on a magical name train to the 1940s, where we get our first bonafide porn name.
What is your choice for the most interesting name in this group?
Odie Cleghorn (1 vote)
Red Green (8 votes)
Punch Broadbent (20 votes)
Baldy Cotton (4 votes)
Hib Milks (2 votes)
Obs Heximer (11 votes)
Rennison Manners (1 vote)
Dit Clapper (25 votes)
Fido Purpur (17 votes)
89 total votes