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A Cynical Fans Guide to the Heritage Classic

I am a known sarcastic, cynical fan. Here is how fans like me should enjoy the Heritage Classic

2016 Tim Hortons NHL Heritage Classic - Alumni Game Photo by Jason Halstead /Getty Images
  • Complain about the lack of Atlanta Thrashers history

I am a pedantic person and I like to point out silly things like the fact that the Winnipeg Jets history includes the Atlanta Thrashers and not the original Winnipeg Jets. I concede this is a very complicated issue because a team left Winnipeg and a different one came here after a while, but Baltimore does not own the Indianapolis Colts’ history therefore Winnipeg does not own the Jets history. It is fun to have the team of most peoples childhood back for the alumni game though.

  • Point out the temperature outside

When you are sitting still and watching a hockey game, nine degrees celsius is not very warm. It is also not close to the temperature needed to build an outdoor rink. It is disingenuous to say that about this weather. The ice conditions could be dangerous, the weather hard to regulate player temperature in. But hey, at least it isn’t freezing.

  • Enjoy the lack of snow

Hey, if LA and San Jose were made fun of for the lack of snow during their Stadium Series games, Winnipeg deserves the same treatment.

  • Complain about the cost of parking

The parking has never been great at IGF and it can be pricey. If you insist on driving, make sure you complain about the cost of parking. (I prefer taking the bus, but I get it if you don’t want to).

  • Cringe whenever Connor McDavid is on the ice

McDavid is a super fun player to watch and the Winnipeg Jets defence is not. Therefore whenever McDavid is on the ice, cringing will probably occur and that is a fact of life. We might even see some questionable decision making from some Jets defencemen.

  • Contemplate how to throw a hat onto the ice when the ice is so far away

Patrik Laine just scored a hat-trick. What if a Jet scores a hat-trick today? How will hats get to the ice? These are the real problems fans have to solve before going to the game.

In all honesty, all of you people going to the game or watching on television, have a blast. As for me, I have a previous commitment coaching water polo. I hope the Jets win and there are some highlights and not a million butt goals. I hope that it doesn’t rain and the weather is great. Most of all, I hope everyone has a great time and stays warm.