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Where The Wild Things Fail. JETS WIN!

Yes! They won! It was epic! It was exciting! This isn't sarcasm! I swear! Furthermore! I'm back! EXCLAMATIONS!

Brace Hemmelgarn-USA TODAY Sports

Hello friends, I've missed you all dearly. Well, most of you anyway. My apologies for the late recap. There was a battery situation and I LOST EVERYTHING. Anyway....

JETS WIN!!!! The Jets beat the Minnesota Borings 1-0. Hellebuyck got himself a shiny new shutout. I love that kid. Let's talk about stuff!

Ten Things

1) Blake Wheeler scored himself the only goal of the evening thank you very much. It was pretty. Also, with this goal he passes Evander Kane for fifth most goals with the franchise so.... uh... suck it Evander? I don't know.

2) It is no secret that I adore Tyler Myers. I am very vocal about my love of the guy..... but REALLY BUD?! Lately he's been a poop sandwich with extra poop. Yes, okay. He drew a penalty. Woo. Pretty sure my cat could do that at this point and he licks his own butt. I'm tired of this Mr. Myers. Please do better at doing good stuff. Stop making me look like an idiot. Please? For me?

(PS: I still love you and your beautiful face, Stupidhead.)

3) 24 saves. Connor Hellebuyck. 2nd shutout of the season. LOVE. IT.

4) Byfuglien got shaken up a wee bit there, hey? Luckily, he ended up okay in the end and didn't really miss a shift or anything but can you please stop trying to break him before we've traded him away for a bucket of squid and half of a tuna sandwich?

5) PERREAULT. I love Mathieu Perreault and I don't even care if you like him or not.

(I TOLD YOU I'D USE IT. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!)

6) This little line situation was rather interesting if I do say so myself.

ARMY OF PERREAULT EHLERS FOREVER.

6) How old is Mikko Koivu at this point? Like... 67? 49? 100? It feels like he's been around forever...

7) How cold is it there? Pretty cold? Ready for summer yet?

8) Both Stafford and Lowry were out for this game and have been listed as day to day. Did you miss them tonight?

9) I'm seriously running out of things to talk about. I could rave about Jakey Jake Troubs Troubs having himself some nice hits tonight but bleh. I could rant about Devan Dubnyk playing rather well actually but BLEH. I could go on and on about this one Ladd shot that was so close to going in but alas was not to be made so but BLEEEEEEH.

I feel like bleh sums up my feels about the Minnesota Wild in general actually. Bleh.

10) Pavelec who?