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Jets WIN. 8-2. Go home, Cats. Just go home.

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Jets beat the Panthers 8-2. WHAT. How excited am I that this happened? How excited are you? How many times are we going to hear "the Panthers are tired, road trip, bloo bloo?" Is Mathieu Perreault possibly the best recent free agent signing? Is his contract seriously that awesome? Thank you, Ducks!

FOUR. 4. quatre. Cuatro. чатыры. ਚਾਰ.
FOUR. 4. quatre. Cuatro. чатыры. ਚਾਰ.
Bruce Fedyck-USA TODAY Sports

Jets beat the Florida Panthers 8-2.

MADNESS!

GOALS UPON GOALS UPON GOALS!

EIGHT TOTAL.

PERREAULT SCORED 4 OF THEM.

I have no words for this game. Nothing I can write here will do justice to what happened on the ice.

I know, I know. The Panthers are tired. Six game road trip. Bloo bloo bloo. Just let all of those long suffering Jets fans have a celebration on this one, okay? Things like this don't happen very often in Jetsland. Don't take this away from us.

Here's a goal list for the evening for you to peruse at your leisure:

Jets

Mathieu Perreault - 4

Dustin Byfuglien - 2

Evander Kane - 1

Jay Harrison (wat.) - 1

Panthers

Dave Bolland - 1

Brad Boyes - 1

Ten Thoughts

1) Dustin Byfuglien is a beast: Big Bad Buff is absolutely killing it now that he's back on defense and he had some words to say about that:

I was waiting for him to score a third goal tonight and get himself a nice shiny hat trick of his very own, but alas, it was not meant to be. What do you throw if there's a second hat trick in a game? Jerseys? Beer cans? Shoes? Whatever else you're holding?

2) Poor Montoya: Al Montoya had a rough night in net tonight. They should have pulled him and put in Roberto Luongo. Wait. You say that Luongo was in to begin with and didn't fare much better? You say that they pulled him and put Montoya in? Oh. Oh my.

3) Jets Cash In: After a certain player's certain goal, the Jets shop at the MTS Centre put all hats on 25% off. Nice marketing and promotion there. They likely made some decent cash while everyone was caught up in the moment.

4) THE NUMBER OF GOALS MATHIEU PERREAULT SCORED.

5) THE NUMBER OF GOALS FROM MATHIEU PERREAULT THAT WOULD HAVE WON GAIL MCDONALD $1M FROM SAFEWAY.

He didn't do it. But he came SO CLOSE.

6) This happened.

7) Jay Harrison scored his third of the season. That is also a thing that happened. It was a weird thing to happen. But not bad weird. Just odd weird.

8) I know that you're expecting more hard hitting analysis and whatnot, but let's be honest for a minute here. How much fun was that game to watch? Seriously? I know it's a one off and the Panthers are not normally that easy to walk all over the way the Jets did tonight, but that was just an overall fun game to watch for Jets fans. I have no analysis. I have no stats. Not tonight.

Okay?

Okay... but here's a fact that you likely missed out on tonight:

9) Please. Please for the love of all that is purple polka dotted, stop this TRADE EVANDER KANE madness. It's detrimental to both your health and mine.

10) Remember when I said that there would be no talk of stats? I LIED. I AM A LIAR.

Look at all the pretty corsis!

Bonus not Jets related thing that is hilarious anway: