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All the Winnipeg Jets want for Christmas

The Winnipeg Jets Christmas Wish List - Revealed!

Devin Setoguchi, Olli Jokinen, and Chris Thorburn celebrate the impending arrival of Christmas
Devin Setoguchi, Olli Jokinen, and Chris Thorburn celebrate the impending arrival of Christmas
Bruce Bennett

It’s that time of year, and since TNSE won’t tell us what they have asked Santa for,we've been forced to call in some favors from some friends to get our hands on what the Winnipeg Jets want in their stockings...

The Forwards

Andrew Ladd: No, Andrew, you cannot have a third ring this year. If you are lucky, Santa might deliver a playoff spot, but that is looking pretty unlikely, too.

Bryan Little: A jerry can of gasoline - to get that hot streak reignited

Blake Wheeler: Some of Little’s gasoline, so he can keep making more smoke to blow.

Evander Kane: Duct tape. To be used liberally when he takes a penalty.

Devin Setoguchi: A hot streak - to be delivered the month before the trade deadline.

Olli Jokinen: A vault to store his current level of play. To be removed and used when he reverts to 2012-13 levels.

Mark Scheifele: Upper body strength so we don’t have to endure anymore #ScheifeleDown. Hartnell’s lawyers are threatening to sue.

Michael Frolik: A DVD of his time in Chicago as a leading PK guy.

Matt Halischuk: A little recognition. It wasn’t  just Scheifele and Frolik on that 3rd line, you know.

Eric Tangradi: A niche. If James Wright gets to be known as a "PK specialist", there has to be something for Eric, right?. Something. Anything. Even "good guy in the room" will do.

Chris Thorburn: Evander Kane-like production. If he’s going to be on the second line, might as well dream big.

Anthony Peluso: A spot in Claude Noel’s good books, so he can get a bit more ice time.

James Wright: A big can of varnish - so he can finally have some finish.

The Defence

Dustin Byfuglien: A mean streak.

Tobias Enstrom: 6" of height, 25 lbs. of muscle. Then maybe fans would stop trying to run him out of town.

Zach Bogosian: A body that breaks down less.

Jacob Trouba: Better facial hair.

Mark Stuart: A positive Corsi.

Grant Clitsome: A free pass to punch the next person to make jokes about his name.

Adam Pardy: A chance to have his helmet party. C’mon, TNSE! We’ll behave! You don’t even have to invite Arby_18!

Keaton Ellerby: Continued invisibility.

Paul Postma: A speedy recovery.

The Goalies

Ondrej Pavelec: A league average Sv%.

Al Montoya: More than 10 starts this year.

The Front Office

Claude Noel: A thesaurus. So players can do more than "be good" after playing "heavy" teams.

Kevin Chevaldayoff: A nice pair of scissors to cut through the waiver wire.