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I'm Saving Hockey: A BTN June 5th Recap

So much speculation, so much hope...a bevy of Winnipeg fans are trying so damn hard to make this team the Jets again. An NBC poll, probably dominated by a bunch of northern expats, returned nearly 60% of over 3,000 votes preferring the old moniker; Winnipeg/Manitoba management, fully aware of the eagerness of their fans, pledged to reveal the name after 13,000 season tickets were sold. People hoping to jump the gun have suggested it could be AHL-transplant the Manitoba Moose (an idea I've already suggested I didn't care for without a jersey overhaul), or the Polar Bears (hopefully not cuddly, soda-drinking ones), or Thrashers, Rebels, etc.

I'm an old man, with time on my hands, so I consume that time with sordid activities with varying levels of importance. When I say "varying", it usually means "pretty low." So with all the spirit of an old lady peeking through her blinds and calling the police on pooping dogs, I'm going to suggest some names too.

Central Canada Canadians: Because frankly, there just haven't been enough team names that revolve around some proud, intrinsic Canadian fightin' spirit.

Manitoba Howler Monkeys: Everybody seems to think that a mascot needs to be a local animal, but it didn't seem to bother the Pittsburgh Penguins and Boston Bruins. Plus, have you ever heard these things? Set one of them loose in the arena, have it howl whenever, steal opposing fans' food and throw poop at that's a mascot.

Winnipeg Princes: How is it that the Los Angeles Kings sound so tough, and the "princes" so wussy? Oh, right.

Manitoba Angry Birds: Got to stay hip, yo.

Manitoba Lakers: As regionally appropriate as this might be, I've never been able to figure out what a "laker" is.

Manitobalsillies: Cutting-edge naming technique, plus a little F-you to Bettman. Sure to get a great sponsor.

This week's articles:

Monday: You Like Me! You Really Like Me! ... Part III

Grandpa's Analysis: Warm weather no like hockey.

Tuesday: Behind the Net moves to All-Winnipeg Jets Format

GA: Bittersweet moment for me, as I'm going to cold weather and a former WHA team, but at least we get away from those Thrashers jerseys.

Wednesday: Missing the Net, Redux

GA: That's quite the spray. Somebody needs a diaper.

Thursday: A Quick Study on Secondary Assists and Defensemen

GA: I view secondary assists as the sportsmanship trophy of the NHL...a little something to make the bad athletes feel better.

Friday: From the Vault: "Gretzky accuses Hawerchuk of deliberately injuring him" - 4/28/1987

GA: Leave it to The Great One to get injured by Dale Hawerchuk.

Whatever the name, please stick to primary colors. This isn't Weekend at Bernie's.