Maybe I missed it: did the world end yesterday?
On the contrary for the NHL, as in one fell swoop it appeared to take care of two serious problems in the league: warm-weather teams and ugly jerseys. The Atlanta Thrashers, at least according to my Weekly World News, are moving to Winnipeg. Well, you’d guess that I’d be happy with this recent news. You’d be right, too, if by happy you meant I’d like to throw Canadian puppies and kittens out of moving vehicles and flip the raspberry at the Queen.
Haven't you been paying attention? The WHA and its exciting, innovative approach to hockey made me throw up in my oatmeal. The vibrant cornucopia of colours on their jerseys made me want to punch every clown in the universe. Thanks to the Jets, the only hockey those people know in Winnipeg is wide-open, flashy, with little contact and a lot of concern for player safety. You know, European hockey.
As if that wasn't enough, I overheard that they would maintain the name and logo of the local AHL team, the Manitoba Moose. You know, with these jerseys. Teal. Please God no. And it's not like they have some quality vintage designs to fall back upon. Is that purple? And teal again? Somebody stop me before I start feeling nostalgic for the Thrashers reds.
Monday: The Art of the Shot Block
Grandpa’s Analysis: When I played, you didn’t have a “most protected” side of your body. You chose to either expose your ass and ankles or your gut and nuts. Not ashamed to say you’d rather they pull the puck out of your body than your nuts.
Tuesday: On hockey returning to Winnipeg
GA: Damien Cox wins because he’s a moron, and morons never understand counter-arguments well enough to know they’ve been burned. Like my father (the venerable Cornwallis Townsend Waverley III) once said, “Idiots live forever.” I think there’s a parallel there…
Thursday: More on NHL Exchange Rates and Expansion
GA: That reminds me, I need to stop using Canadian dollars to wipe.
Man, you guys are slackers. I'm going to have to start making extra expert observations.
