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The DiPietro-Johnson Fight, Set to Quotes from an Anonymous M. Night Shyamalan Film

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Why?  Because this was a bad idea by Rick DiPietro, deserving of both the one-punch knockout and the resulting mirth of his fellow humankind.

Okay, so I take a few liberties with the quotes...

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DiPietro, to Johnson: "There were so many times I questioned myself..."

Johnson: (murmurs) "You [high-sticked] all those people..."

DiPietro: "But I found you.  So many sacrifices..."

 

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"...just to find you."

 

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DiPietro: "[You have to understand,] I have something called Osteogenesis imperfecta.  It's a genetic disorder.  I don't make a particular protein very well and it makes my bones very low in density."

Johnson: "You could have been a tax accountant.  You could have owned your own gym.  You could have opened a chain of restaurants.  You could have done ten thousand things, but in the end, you chose to [fight me and my strong pimp hand.] You made that decision, and I find that very, very interesting."

 

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BIFF!

 

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Johnson: "One of us has made a gross error, and wasted the other person's valuable time."

DiPietro: (whispers) "They called me Mr. Glass..."