Just in case 7 months without NHL hockey has made you forget some of the unique idioms and phrases used to describe the game and it's players, I'm offering up a cheat sheet of sorts to help you re-adjust to life with the NHL:
"gritty two-way forward": great skater with stone hands. Unlikely to participate in a shootout until the 9th round.
"defensive defenseman": his abilities necessitate the team rule that he's not allowed to cross centre ice into the opposition zone
"prospect": not sure what we've got here, either a future 2nd liner or a Spengler Cup regular for Team Canada. Just in case, we've let go half of the scouting staff in preparation for the fallout.
"players' coach": first round's on him boys
"bag skate": either a) coach forcing players to skate full speed, back and forth until there's vomit covering the entire neutral zone or b) a horrific hazing ritual that I don't wish to describe here
"deceptive speed": he's slow.
"power forward": just as likely to score as he is to maim and injure someone, sometimes doing both on the same shift.
"franchise goalie": everyone's favourite player on the team, acknowedged as the only reason they made the playoffs - who within two years (or two games) will become known as that horrible SOB who couldn't stop a beach ball tossed at him by your grandmother
"youth movement": the team sucks - younger fans have moved on to watching Basketball or Arena Football.
"veteran leadership": a guy possessing this has most of his own teeth and can still form complete sentences on most occasions. Remembers to wear a clean shirt in front of the cameras when being interviewed.
"bulletin board material": usually comes from Maxim magazine or the European equivalent.
"he can dangle": another one of those references you probably shouldn't use in front of female company.
Feel free to add your own or dispute my offerings.
If this FanPost is written by someone other than one of the blog's editors, the opinions expressed in it do not necessarily reflect those of this blog or SB Nation.
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