Top o' the morning to you, Evander Kane.
Oh, man. You sure do have a way of putting knots in knickers, don't you?
You ought to hear what they're saying and writing about you since you tweeted those "How I spent my vacation" pics from Vegas.
Among other things, you are an "idiot, an adult who acts like an immature little kid, stupid, dumb, sick, not worthy of respect, an immature joker, insensitive, completely classless, greedy, an a$$hole, a spoiled brat, a douche bag..."
Talk about a tough crowd.
I swear, I haven't heard this much name-calling because of a millionaire hockey player doing something stupid since...well, since the last time you apparently did something stupid.
And all because of a joke.
It was a joke, right? That, at least, is how you explained it when the stuff hit the fan after those pics of you with those stacks of U.S. greenbacks planted on your right ear surfaced on Twitter.
I must tell you, though, that it was an ill-timed joke.
I can see where a whole lot of people would view it as a horrible optic of a filthy rich kid flaunting his wealth. Mark Chipman, for example. I can't imagine the Winnipeg Jets' bankroll is thinking it was much of a knee-slapper. More to the point, I'm guessing he's royally p-oed. I suppose if I were in his position, my knickers would be in a knot, too. After all, he committed $31.5 million to you in September and I'm sure he'd like to think that it's 31.5 well-spent dollars.
I would think Jets' PR guy Scott Brown has had better days, too.
But ownership/management aside, methinks the outrage in Universe Jets is a bit over the top.
I mean, yes the National Hockey League is in labor lockdown. Yes, you could have timed your joke a bit better. But, hey, it's not your fault that Gary Bettman and Donald Fehr are a couple of twits who can't decide on lunch, let alone how to slice a $3.3 billion pie.
And you're supposed to care that the labor lockdown has put thousands of people out of work? Hey, you're out of work, too, right? You just lost your job in the KHL. The stress of being a bum in a two-bit Russian hockey league must have been unbearable. Little wonder you had to escape to the gaming tables in Vegas.
And you're supposed to care about being a good role model for the kids? As if. You didn't ask to be a role model and you've done everything in your power to prove you're not a good role model.
And you should care that you might have soiled the Jets' squeeky-clean image? Tell them to talk to the hand. After all, it's not like you were driving drunk like Ondrej Pavelec, who conveniently forgot to mention his DUI conviction to Chipman and GM Kevin Cheveldayoff during contract negotiations that made him a millionaire. You didn't land in court like Dustin Byfuglien, either.
All you did was post a picture. You were just funnin' around, right? Just a 21-year-old kid goofin' off. And so what if it was a horrible optic that made you come across as the biggest ass clown since Sean Avery went off on Dion Phaneuf and "sloppy seconds."
The negative natterbugs in Winnipeg just don't get you, Evander. Doesn't matter what you do. I swear, you could take your winnings from Sin City and feed and give shelter to all the homeless in River City and the peasants still would go on those call-in shows and rag on you for serving them soup instead of steak.
So, screw 'em, Evander. Don't listen to all those bleeding hearts who want you to give a damn about something other than yourself. You just keep doing what you've been doing.
Mind you, Evander being Evander will likely get you booted out of town eventually, but that just might be what you've wanted all along.